Cringe is not my Crown
This morning I was coaching one of my brilliant clients - she’s in that plot twist space so many women find themselves in. You know the one…where you're looking at your plan D, E. Where you're trying to show up and do something different.
Maybe you’ve just left corporate and you’re stepping into consultancy life, wondering if anyone’s going to take you seriously.
Maybe you’re freshly redundant, still reeling from the shock of “what now?”
Or maybe you’re just bloody tired of performing a version of yourself that no longer fits.
And then… you’re supposed to suddenly show up on here or walk into a room or knock on a door with a big “Well hello, look at me now. Here I am!”
It’s a lot.
She looked at me and shared, “The whole thing just feels cringe.”
I get it. I’ve been there too. (several times) It was March last year when I realised I wasn’t really showing up for me. I was showing up as the version I thought I should be - the polished, palatable, professional one.
It felt like I was back at school, trying to impress a teacher who wasn’t even looking. And then only being noticed when I was doing something I shouldn't.
I knew something had to shift. So I did the work - proper work - on my value system
Not the buzzword bingo you see framed behind reception. I mean the stuff that actually matters. What drives me. What I will and won’t compromise on.
What makes me feel like me. They’re my guiding principles, my standard bearer for success. They enable me to decide what I say yes to, when I walk away, how I show up and what I speak up (over-share) about.
They’ve become my permission slip, my filter.
And then last week, I saw that Robbie Williams - King of the Comeback, Patron Saint of Showing Up - got an entire stadium chanting: “Cringe is my crown.”
Now then, I blinking love Robbie. Always have. But on this one? I’m out. Cringe doesn’t need to be your crown.
It’s only cringe when you feel like you’re pretending. When your values lead, you’re not performing. You’re just showing up as you.
I get asked all the time in workshops, “Are these my work values or my personal ones?” Your values are yours. They come with you, wherever you go - whether you're presenting in the boardroom or losing your rag in the car park at Tesco.
They help you make sense of the noise.
They help you stop overthinking every damn thing (sometimes).
They help you stop giving energy to things that don’t deserve it.
This is why values work sits bang in the centre of my Inner Edge™ - the clarity, conviction and courage to show up for yourself, without apology or performance.
So if you’re hesitating to post, pitch, apply, share or speak up - maybe it’s not a confidence issue. Maybe it’s a values one. Because once you know what matters to you, you stop asking permission to be it.
Cringe is no longer my crown. And it doesn’t need to be yours either.
Mic Drop... (aka Robbie) Flicks hair and flaunts off stage left.