When I was early on in my career, a leader in business, a boss told me I was a ‘square peg in a round hole.’
It affected me. At the time I did what I did best; I laughed it off pretended it hadn’t affected me. It affected me.
It also quietened me (a bit). The actual real me. It started a long old journey where I mainly tried to emulate other people because that’s what success looked like. Because no-one wanted to be a round peg in a square hole or a square peg in a round hole.
And what I did with the real me was to douse her in self-deprecating humour, to laugh at myself first before anyone else could; to not take myself too seriously before anyone else could point out how I didn’t quite fit.
For years I defined success by looking at what other people were doing, how they were dressing, behaving, dealing with people, how they were leading, whether they listened to Radio 4.
I observed, I watched, I moulded myself into the round holes and whilst it felt REALLY uncomfortable I made it work. I never listened to Radio 4 - that was a step too far.
It took a few pretty significant life events for me to realise that I couldn’t be successful by being someone else. It also took meeting my champion cheerleaders, my trusted network and getting a bit older to start to stand by my truth, to believe in my truth, to own my space and go for it.
Comparison is indeed the thief of joy. Trying to be someone you’re not is the thief of success.
It took me a long while to realise I just had to tell my truth. In fact I was in my forties.
Sounds easy doesn’t it; just tell your truth, but the fact is we have to work out what our truth is first, know our purpose, our why and then we have to believe it before we can expect anyone else to believe it.
Being honest with myself has been one of my greatest lessons and loves of being in midlife. Believing in myself and owning what I am capable of is an ongoing work in progress but I am no longer afraid of being a square peg in a round hole - in fact now I know it’s something to celebrate.
In the past, I’ve shied away from commenting, from shouting my truth for fear of judgement. I’ve acquiesced, aspired to be that other person, forgetting that the first place I need to place my faith is in my self.
And the reason for baring my soul to you this morning is simply this:
If you are a leader in business, are you celebrating your square pegs; encouraging them to be the best versions of themselves? Encouraging the talent of the individual not whether they fit the mould? Are you building training and learning to meet their needs so they can excel, not your assumptions?
AND, REALLY IMPORTANTLY
Are you celebrating your own truth? Are you celebrating who you are today and owning your voice; not silencing yourself for fear of someone else’s judgement? Because I also truly believe that as leaders, as humans, being willing to being vulnerable, being open is one of the core self-leadership skills we can have.
Do you know your truth?
Do you show up for your truth? Knowing your truth, what you stand for, believing in yourself and showing up means you are building the resilience toolkit and putting a strategy in place to stand proud of who you are and what you do every single day.
And finally here’s to all my fellow square pegs out there - let’s celebrate the fact we don’t fit.
My eight week, 121 performance coaching and training programme works with square pegs to celebrate our truths, be who we are meant to be and crack on with. our success. Find out more here:Coach in your Pocket